The Funny Moms and Kids Blog

Funny mother and son quotes

“You show me a boy who brings a snake home to his mother and I'll show you an orphan.”
― Erma Bombeck

“When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing but the dog is barking, call 911. ”
― Erma Bombeck

Funny mom and kids quotes

Insanity is hereditary. You can catch it from your kids.”
― Erma Bombeck

“Giving birth is little more than a set of muscular contractions granting passage of a child. Then the mother is born.”
― Erma Bombeck

“I'm a godmother, that's a great thing to be, a godmother. She calls me god for short, that's cute, I taught her that.”
― Ellen DeGeneres

“When my kids become wild and unruly, I use a nice, safe playpen. When they're finished, I climb out.”
― Erma Bombeck

Cheeky daughter to mom quotes

Because we are mom and also a daughter.

I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They always say because it's such a beautiful animal. There you go. I think my mother is attractive, but I have photographs of her.”
― Ellen DeGeneres

“When your mother asks, "Do you want a piece of advice?" it's a mere formality. It doesn't matter if you answer yes or no. You're going to get it anyway.”
― Erma Bombeck

There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it.”
― Erma Bombeck

“Thanks to my mother, not a single cardboard box has found its way back into society. We receive gifts in boxes from stores that went out of business twenty years ago.”
― Erma Bombeck